She drives a Mercedes-Benz, he a Honda CBR. She is a bookworm, he a sports buff. She is a republican, he a democrat. She prefers career to family, he the other way around. Do opposites really attract? If they do, how? If not, then who do?

‘If you want to find a great relationship, look for an opposite’. We have all heard this time and again. Let the concept of ‘opposites’ get clear first. As per our mindset, we think, or rather, misconstrue the term. If you are a great conversation lover and your partner hates to talk, then the two of you are opposites. Clear opposites! And if you can’t stomach what the other is passionate about, how can you two be a couple, in the first place, let alone be attracted to each other?

On the other hand, if you love to talk non-stop and your companion loves to listen to you along with joining you in the tête-à-tête, only then the ‘attraction’ factor develops in the relationship. There has to be a comfort level involved. And that comes through understanding each other’s likes and dislikes and preferences. Thus, it’s not the ‘opposites’ who attract each other; it’s the ‘complements’ who get smitten by one another.

What do we look for when deciding the Mr or Miss Right? Obviously, not the opposite persona! We seek out a mate who can make us ‘complete’. Don’t we? We need a shoulder to cry upon when down in the dumps, not an ‘I’ll speak to you when you are done with shedding your tears’ shrug; we look for someone who loves having career related discussions with us, not someone who is satisfied with running a grocery shop and doesn’t want to think further, etc etc.

This ‘completion-quench’ springs from an original longing for acquaintance of the objects we have experienced all through our early days, or in any other family circumstances. For instance, a guy having a domineering father would easily bond with an authoritarian girl like his father. Or, those who strike a chord with him in the manner he balanced and adjusted with his dominant father.

It is always a wise move to call a ‘not-working’ relationship off, the minute one realises this. It’s better to move ahead, than to put up with a complex, unwanted, agonising relationship, and await the one who truly complements you.